Its been a while. I mostly wrote for fun, but lately I haven't had much fun at all. I think I fell off the balancing rope of sanity, and now I'm simply floating in despair, not really drowning, but still wet enough by it to notice that its everywhere. That's a shitty analogy, I know, but if I were a poet I wouldn't be writing a blog at all.
I am a disappointment for my parents, enough that all they could talk with me is how I should be doing something else to get what they think I need. For a few months I have been trying to get a job, any job, to the point I would happily clean shit from the restaurant of a mexican restaurant that is going out of business, but my brother has decided to send me emails of jobs that ask for specific requirements I don't fulfill, then telling my parents how he sent me the listing, which ends up with my parents telling me that I don't get a job because I don't try hard enough. Beyond the usual "you are too negative" and the common "you should try harder", today I was notified I was a disappointment in an unusual way. See, ever since my mother decided I was a genius and I should be a millionaire, she has been getting disappointed by my lack of desire and hopes for the future, and each an every time she has managed to express this with comments and passive-aggressive guilt trips that I have managed to ignore because I really believe shes wrong about a lot of things. After I moved out we don't communicate a lot, but lately all our conversations has been about how I am an useless son, in one way or another,
did u ate the chickpeas though?
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