I have a simple philosophy in life: I don't care about a lot of things. The level of my uncaring ways is so deep that when someone tries to show they care about something I doubt them. The reason I doubt them isn't that I think everyone is a liar, although I do believe that, but simply because most of the things people "care" about are illogical things for anyone, except a selected few, to care at all. Lets use some real "tragedies" as examples. Some towers went down in USA, some kids are shooting other kids on schools, an earthquake made Japan a mess, a tsunami drowned some Thais, and everyone I knew at the time (I stopped talking to the idiots after that) tried to act all worried or empathetic because people died on those event. But I say it was all bullshit for one simple reason: How could a person who doesn't give a fuck about the people going hungry in his own country care about dead people from other places?
Now, when I was in the hell that others called university I asked this very same question, and some idiots tried to make me believe that it was about numbers. "If a lot of people die we should care", but how many is a lot? Is there a fixed number of people where I should care? If 100 people go hungry in my country or get killed by drug dealers I should ignore it, but if 101 people die from a fire I should cry and pray for them? In any case people just want to be part of a group, even if its the group of idiots who fake feelings, so I can live with that. What I can't accept is that those same idiots try to make other join their little cults of idiocy when one doesn't share their fake ideas.
In that example, if someone sees you ignoring their show of hypocrisy or ask you and you say you don't give a fuck, they quickly make it a mission to tell you how wrong you are, and when that fails they try to use peer pressure to ask for help from others who don't really give a fuck either. In the end people try to convince you that you are a monster because you dared to speak your mind, while they had to act all worried and sad. Repeat this in the millions of lies people tell themselves and others and you end up being a monster for everyone, which at the end is kind of nice because everyone leaves you alone if you don't crack into pressure and begin lying with them. However, this peaceful moment is brief, since being alone brings around you another kind of lying people, people who think that being alone is bad for you and they try to "help" you from it. Telling you how great life is and how wonderful and enjoyable lying feels, which in turn bring the same issues again, which lead to the same arguments and eventually another brief period of peace from the constant pestering. I call this: "the circle of bullshit".
Now, in this circle of bullshit there are people more annoying that others that act all hurt and betrayed when you keep not caring about stuff because in their mission of not accepting who you are, you not changing shows what a bad person you are. It's a stupid manipulation to make people that are afraid of being considered evil change like others. Since I don't care about being good I still don't care about a lot of things, but I have found a lot of these idiots, and I hated them all. In fact, I think it's because of them that I am now an emotional sadist who enjoys the suffering of others. The idiots trying to make me act "good" made me become more "evil" which I find funny. Of course, in the end I ended up with the constant desire to destroy others, which is kinda hard to calm, but now I am so scary people tend to avoid me, which means I got peace. That's how I came to understand the possible side of the peace dream: you can get peace when everyone leaves you alone.
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